Family Rules

To begin with, I didn't post a menu plan for this week because we decided to do an "eat from the pantry" week. We are getting creative to rid the house of all allergen-filled foods that our youngest son can't eat. It's getting increasingly difficult to make sure he doesn't get a hold of something he can't have so we've decided that for now the best thing for us to do is the whole family switch to a diet that is allowed for him! No more milk, eggs, or wheat!! AGH!

(Photo via Pinterest)

We have rules everywhere we look--school, work, community laws, etc. Rules define what is acceptable and  unacceptable wherever you may be.  So it makes sense that we should also have rules at home that set the tone for our families.

Not too long ago I envisioned our family "rules" as not much more than ways to end unacceptable behaviors. We've always tried to discipline and correct our children with love but we never included love as part of our rules. We were quick to put out the "don't run in the house" rule but didn't include the "always smile, never frown" rule. 

The way that we were thinking and going about things really set a negative mood in our house. We could all feel it. Every one was quick to point out the wrong things each other was doing but slow to notice the good things we were doing. Occasionally we have turned into the "yelling" parents to get our points across but as most know that doesn't get you anywhere. It makes the person go into a defensive mode and causes them to put up an emotional wall and completely block you out. That's really a depressing way to live. 

Growing up I related rules with respect. You set boundaries to gain respect. But now...I believe you have to give respect and more importantly love, to gain respect. I've learned that you have to lovingly correct children, speak in soft tones, and relate to children to get them to listen to you.

I've gotten a little off track...my mind goes all over the places...sorry! 

So anyways, a few weeks ago I was going to write this post about our family rules but it just didn't feel right to me. Something was just wrong. I took a step back and started looking at our rules and the attitudes in our home. I quickly found the problem. It wasn't our kids just not wanting to listen although they are a tad defiant...it was us...the parents. It was how we were correcting them, the rules we had set, no follow through...I mean really it was everything. I took a break from everything--the blog, reading, writing, cleaning (deep cleaning that is...the house atleast looked clean). I had to try to fix what was going on in our home. 

This is no overnight fix. Drew and I have talked about it. We've talked about it with the kids a little bit. We have to come up with a better solution for our family rules. It's not black and white like we thought...there's a lot of colors in between when you are talking about family with kids. We are on a mission to redefine our home--our rules, our means of correction/discipline, our attitudes towards each other...everything. 

We want our children to grow up in a loving, happy home. We should be their escape from the world. We want them to know it's okay to make mistakes because we can learn from them. We want them to know that know matter what happens we love them with every bit of our hearts. We also want them to be sweet, polite, and well-behaved kids. 

Since everyone is in bed now tomorrow will be our new start. Tomorrow we will begin the change for our family. With GOD directing us we can not go wrong and HE will always send us down the right path. We are blessed that the LORD has so graciously given this beautiful family to us. We love every minute with each of our 6 kids and would change nothing about it! 

Does your family struggle with establishing/following through with family rules? If you have a good plan in place share what works with your family!

Ashley