The Love Dare -Day Four

Day Four - Love is Thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to me...How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.

Psalm 139:17-18

Love is not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotions and falls asleep mentally. Love thinks -it keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.

When you first met your spouse you brainstormed all the time about ways you could be thoughtful. You thought about them all day long and dreamed of them at night. Once you got married things changed though. You drifted off into focusing on everything else-job, house, kids, activities, etc. After awhile, you unintentionally begin to ignore the needs of your man. 

If you don't learn to be thoughtful, you end up regretting missed opportunities to demonstrate love. Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship. 

A woman can think about multiple things at once. This allows her to complete many actions at a time. Men, on the other hand, can focus on one thing and forget about the rest of the world. A woman usually also thinks about all the people that are involved with what she is working on. This is how God designed women to complete men -but these differences also create opportunities for misunderstandings.

A couple must understand this about one another or risk an endless fallout of disagreements. He wonders why she doesn't just come out and say exactly what is on her mind. She thinks he inconsiderate and doesn't put stuff together to figure it out.

Women will get upset with their husbands but not tell them why. In our mind we think we shouldn't have to spell it out for him -he should be able to look at the situation and know what's going on. At the same time, he's upset because he can't read your mind and wonders why he is being punished for a crime he didn't know he committed.

Love requires thoughtfulness on both sides. The kind that builds bridges through patience, kindness, and selflessness. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle and respect the way your spouse thinks. 

A wife should learn how to communicate truthfully and not say one thing and mean another. A husband should listen to his wife and be considerate of her unspoken thoughts.  All too often we become angry and frustrated and say harsh words instead of thinking it through. We wait until later to wonder if we did the right thing. The problem with that is once the words are spoken they can not be taken back. Love filters harsh words out. 

Great marriages come from great thinking. Spend some time today thinking about how you can better understand your spouse and demonstrate love. What need can you meet right now. What's the next event you could be preparing for? 

Today's Dare:

Contact your spouse sometime during the business day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them?

What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural part of your lifestyle? 

{Yesterday's Dare for me: This wasn't the best day for us. If only day four came before day three. I went to the store at about 9:30 pm last night. I bought Drew and me a dessert to have together but when I got home all the kids were still out of the bed, kids were fighting, and Drew was on the phone. I got agitated because before I left I said it would be nice if they were in the bed before I got back. I didn't clearly ask him to put them in the bed...I assumed he would. While I was dealing with the kids fighting Drew went ahead to bed. So we didn't get to share our dessert...and out of annoyance I ate my part of it...I feel horrible today because of it...}

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